Lowenbrau Keller, The Rocks, Sydney

It's true. I do derive an inordinate amount of pleasure whenever I say the word schlachtplatte.

Partly it's because I relish putting on a very bad German accent, trying to generate as much noise as possible on the schlaaaaacht (I did say it was a bad accent). But perhaps the most exciting part about saying schlachtplatte to the waitress is the promise of the meat to come. A feast of meat. A feast.


Schlachtplatte double $67
Lowenbrau's selection of Bavarian specialties -
pork knuckle, sausages, chicken schnitzel and pork belly
served with mashed potato and sauerkraut

The schlachtplatte is indeed a sight to behold. Schlachplatte means slaughter dish, and is traditionally served up on a farm immediately after a pig's slaughter, a use-up-the-leftovers serving of pork tripe, kidneys, knuckles and blood sausage. At Lowenbrau, the schlachtplatte has evolved to mean a mass serving of protein, a dazzling and seemingly never-ending spectacle of carnivorous pleasures.



We eat our way up the red carpet of crunchy chicken schnitzel and than along a catwalk of Bratwurst and Frankfurter sausages. Backstage are slices of pork belly with crackling on top, and thick salty pieces of smoked pork Kassler. The star of the show is the pork knuckle, a temptress of porcine delight, clad in a pret-a-porter design of salt-flecked blistered crackling. An over-the-top corsage of Nurnberger sausages is pinned to her breast.

Designed to be served for two people, we share this among three and still struggle to finish. Billy, the Pom and I all have healthy appetites, and still we can't eat all the sausages, the pork, the mashed potato, the sauerkraut and the lashings of gravy.


Hofbrau Diesel $10.60 for 0.5L
Dark lager with Coca Cola


Mango Weizen $10.60 for 0.5L
Wheat bief with mango juice

We wash down the protein with big man-ly steins of beer. And a blokey dinner can only end one way... with a merciless gluttony of dessert.


Dessert variation $16.00
Taste of apple strudel, mixed berry crumble,
sticky date pudding and ice cream with fruit coulis

The Pom only has eyes for the dessert variation, a tasting plate of four different sweets that has his eyes alight with glee. I confess I hadn't expected much from this offering--a slap-dash platter of trucked in desserts?--but the sticky date pudding has an intensely satisfying caramel flavour and there's plenty of berries atop the ice cream. The strudel is a tad bland, with the pastry missing the wondeful flakiness for which it's known.




Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte $10.00
Traditional Black Forest cake with Kirsch-marinated sour cherries,
fresh cream and chocolate shavings

Black Forest cake too often falls short of its supreme visions of decadence. The version here is better than many of the imposters I've seen, although the cake is a little pale and the cream a glowing white. We do revel in the sour cherries soaked in Kirsch, and whilst it's not usually served on a lake of chocolate sauce (swirled obsessively with creme anglais), we eat it up anyway.


Apfel Kuchlein $10.00
Bier battered apples with cinnamon sugar and creme anglaise

My favourite dessert of the evening is, yes, deep-fried. Apfel kuchlein is just like an Aussie pineapple fritter, but with apple. The German take has a batter which is a bit thicker and more cake-like, the crisp exterior giving way to a soft crumb and then searing hot apple. The dusting of icing sugar reminds me of snow.

We can only smile wryly at the lederhosen-wearing male waiters and the Heidi-themed waitresses. The oompah band in the corner keeps the crowds amused but when it comes to eye candy, I'm more easily entertained by the schlachtplatte, or schhhlatchhhhhhhplatte to be sure.




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Lowenbrau Keller
Corner of Playfair and Argyle Streets, The Rocks, Sydney
Tel: +61 (02) 9247 7785

Open 7 days 9am til late
Live entertainment every night from 7pm
Late night menu available every Friday and Saturday 11pm til 2am

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Löwenbräu Keller (Jul10), (Jun09), (Feb09) and (Jul06)

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